God is Already in the Place You Are Going

Full of God

Full of promise

Of change and healing

Redirection and purpose.

That’s how I got here.

Unrecognizeable by some.

Untolerated by others.

But here -

In the right place –

On good ground –

And not yet arrived.

Still climbing for heaven.

Open the window for others to see

And start their journey, too.

Guerillas of Grace by Thomas Loder

Holy One,
there is something I wanted to tell you,
but there have been errands to run,
     bills to pay,
          arrangements to make,
               meetings to attend,
                    friends to entertain,
                         washing to do...
and I forget what it is I wanted to say to you,
     and mostly I forget what I'm about,
          or why.
O God,
don't forget me, please,
for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Eternal One,
there is something I wanted to tell you,
but my mind races with worrying and watching,
     with weighing and planning,
          with rutted slights and pothole grievances,
               with leaky dreams I keep trying to plug up;
and my attention is preoccupied
     with loneliness,
          with doubt,
               and with things I covet;
and I forget what it is I wanted to say to you,
and how to say it honestly
or how to do much of anything.
O God,
don't forget me please,
for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Almighty One,
there is something I wanted to tell you
     but I stumble along the edge of a nameless rage,
          haunted by a hundred floating fears and...
I forget the real question is that I wanted to ask,
     and I forget to listen anyway
          because you seem unreal and far away,
and I forget what it is I have forgotten.
O God,
don't forget me please,
for the sake of Jesus Christ.

O Father in heaven,
perhaps you've already heard what I wanted to tell you.
What I wanted to ask is
     forgive me,
          heal me,
                increase my courage, please.
Renew in me a little of love and faith,
     and a sense of confidence,
          and a vision of what it might mean
               to live as though you were real,
                    and I mattered,
                         and everyone was sister and brother.
What I wanted to ask in my blundering way is
     don't give up on me,
          don't become too sad about me,
               but laugh with me
                    and try again with me,
                         and I will with you, too.
What I wanted to ask is
      for peace enough to want and work for more,
          for joy enough to share,
               and for awareness that is keen enough
to sense your presence,
     here,
          now,
               there,
                     then,
                          always.

The Uninvited Discipline - an Epilogue

I am ending my list of Uninvited Disciplines, although I suspicion each of us have many more.  While I do not negate the spiritual disciplines of the ancients because they have so much to teach us about finding our center, find our connection to God, I also don’t want to limit God’s opportunity to reach me in the every day activities, too.  I don’t want my day to devolve into a to-do list or skill-building which does not include a conscious effort to seek God in each.  Let the monkish practices of silence, study, prayer, service, or solitude invade daily life, for they are the tools by which our whole life can be God’s and can be centered on God.

An Uninvited Discipline - Conversation

“I said I wanted to talk.  I did not mean I wanted to listen.”   And thus, we have completely lost the meaning of conversation.  The word’s origin is from a 1500s meaning, which was “to live with.”  It was also the legal term for sexual intercourse.  Thus, conversation was to engage in a give and take, a knowing and understanding of the other.  That means it is two-sided, a dialogue, which is much more than just what I have to say.

The two skills needed for conversation are, first, deep listening (hearing what is real about the other) and, secondly, finding your voice (expressing what is real about you). Both are significant.  If I never express the real me, you’ll never know me.  If I refuse to hear you or only listen superficially, I’ll never know you.  Our relationship will never be intimate.  Face-t0-face conversation builds community in a way that text-to-talk never can.  To hear the heart takes much more than words because to develop conversation that is caring, I have to hear beyond the words and listen for the expression of the heart, which takes place in tone of voice and body language.

Whether in listening or speaking, we all need to learn to be more intentional and confident when engaging in conversation.  It takes initiative to enter deep places in which God can lead and reach us through our community conversations.  It takes courage to listen to others with whom we do not agree, to hear those we don’t understand.  It takes a surety of self to allow someone to be different than me and not have to change them to conform to my views.

Conversation becomes a personal discipline when I engage deeply and it becomes a spiritual discipline when I keep God in the center of it – when I listen for His movement, His Spirit in myself and in you.  It is a discipline because it begins with love:  the love for God which allows me to love others enough to hear them.  It allows me to love others enough to tell them the truth.  It allows me to love others without judging them by my filters, which means to see the other person through God’s eyes.  I may need help learning to listen to a difficult person or my enemy.  I may need help with my beloved family, for whether I would love them for my sake or theirs, I would miss the opportunity to love them for God’s sake.

Some of the skills needed for God-centered conversation are not new to most.  To be a good listener, we know to listen with our agenda aside, to ask for more of their story, to listen to the emotions behind the words, even to  attend to their agenda.  It is a discipline to honor and acknowledge another’s point of view.  There are other skills, though, we neglect in listening:  to pray, to be open and open to change, to be willing to hear a person all the way, to desire what God wants, to be willing to learn, to intend a good result of the conversation.

Even the skills of saying our part, our words and idea-expressions may,  at first, be obvious: tell the truth, start with “I” statements, be clear, distinguish between fact and emotion.  If there is a desire for action from another, be specific with action and timeline.  Could there be others?  I return to prayer – let’s make it the first and best action we take before the words come out of the mouth.  Ask God to lead to explain without complaining and to express results with God in mind.  Don’t minimize your story or point of view any more than the other person’s. 

An unusual or less thought about part of conversation is the silence between the words.  What is being said that the words are not telling?  What is the tone of voice, the body language saying?  What if we sat in silence with each other to give space for ideas to grow, to give space for hearts to hear.  It is a discipline to let silence speak, too.

Realize that in basic conversation (not in teaching or persuasion), we hear to know each other, identify with each other and join with each other, even when we have differences.  Community grows when we can hear another person’s heart. Conversation builds community when we can invite more to the table, more people and more ideas. 

Many of the recorded conversations of Jesus with people took place in “their” space, where he met them.  He met Peter by the lake where his livelihood was, the woman at the well where sustenance was, the Pharisees in the temple where their duty lay, the cripple at the pool in a supposed place of healing.  Jesus didn’t very often go for “neutral.”  He met people in the public square and in their homes.  People are more comfortable there. 

Jesus often did not leave them there, though. He knew how to lead them through conversation through the facts to their thoughts and opinions, to identify their deep desires, and through their crises to discussions of the sacred.  He listened.  He asked questions.  He pointed to healing.  He pointed to God.

It is truly a discipline to engage in the knowing search of another person, which is conversation’s goal.  It is a discipline to reveal our own truths and lies.  It is a greater discipline to let a healing Savior to be in the center of all conversations so that the greater community can be built. 

And what if our conversation with each other told the truth about the kind of conversation we have with the Lord of the Universe?  How well we listen to each other may indicate how well we listen to God.  How much truth we tell to each other may indicate how much truth we tell God.  How much we connect and community-build with each other may tell the greatest truth of how well we are connected with the Triune God, who is, most of all, Community.

An Uninvited Discipline - Aging

It may seem obvious that growth, in general, involves discipline and I want to raise the awareness that growing older is a spiritual discipline, no matter what decade of life one is passing through.  Sometimes, we want to race through a decade (see teenagers) or push back from the next (see 50-year-olds), yet each can be a marvelous time for growth if we keep God at the center of it.

It is modernity’s health and technology advancements that make this discussion possible.  In 1900, the life expectancy for men was age 47, for women it was 50.  Infant mortality was around 10% (today it is 6.89%), with adult roles and expectations applying to a young person by age 14-15.  As a result, the “seasons” of life was not a well-developed concept in a world where either you were a child or an adult, neither very far from death.

Contributing to a changed view of the seasons of life was the stabilization of health practices such that children and adults didn’t die enmasse of disease or injury and life expectancies expanded greatly.  Adolescence was incubated in the 1920s, but didn’t manifest as an age phenomenon until the ready-mobility created by the automobile and the development of radio and TV where a teen culture could be explored outside of the family culture.  Also, the possibility of living past 60 created a retirement class, a whole group of people who also have mobility and new roles.

A new set of expectations about life and even life-with-God became possible.  All that to challenge your view of faith practices, which in previous calamitous and confining eras was more of a matter of dealing with death and staying alive.  The basic assumptions change when the safety of your environment and the opportunities of a long life exist.  What attitudes prevail when childhood is extended?  What changes occur when life is less precarious?  How do we incorporate a role for spiritual growth and eldership for a healthy older population?

While the decades of the 1900s were spent developing a youth-oriented culture, have we failed to see the value and possibilities of a full-functioning eldership in the population?  Since eldership is underdeveloped and less venerated, most people push back from it instead of embracing, growing and celebrating it, instead of joining God in it and desiring His measure of maturity for it.

I find the things people say about their age expectations to be both interesting and telling.  My eight-old granddaughter marks the days until she can be nine.  Teenagers clamor to be 18, when they can finally “do whatever they want.”  Then out of post 40-year-olds I hear, “Oh, to be 20 again” or “I can’t wait to retire.”  Any reflection of “some day…” or “if only I had …” about another time of life causes us to miss the possibility of today.

I propose that it is a spiritual discipline, and one we rarely invite, to understand the purpose and possibility of every age.  It can be a huge benefit to your relationship with God if you can keep Him in the center of the process of growing old, which we are all doing.  At the core of this discussion, I believe, is identity – how I define myself.  For us to see the spiritual discipline of growing within an age and stage and then moving to the next is to keep our identity secure in God’s definition for us and  His purpose for our lives.  For example, if I can stay connected to my identity as a child of God, that marker can hold and guide me through child-rearing, vocational development, health challenges and community changes.  The discipline is to lean into God to remember His definition for my identity through success and failure, trial and trauma, change and stagnation.  Such a discipline can bear the onslaught and victory of each age. 

Others have written specifically on carrying disciplines into the second half of life.  You can read Richard Rohr, William Buford, Billy Graham or James Fowler.  I want to focus on the discipline God may intend the most:  maturity.  Christ-like maturity.  There are specific markers for that maturity in the New Testament:

·  Humbleness, where holiness, purity and righteousness characterize a sure pursuit and discipline, is one few invite let alone desire, even with its blessing.  (Matthew 5:5, 6, 8)

· Defining a new life in Christ, being able to let go of cultural definitions which prove to be constraints on life, is a true challenge for change. To understand that to grasp the greater things of God requires that we let go of the lesser things of culture, childhood and ego. (Matthew 16:25-26)

·  Wisdom-keeping, which provides stability for a person and a community,  is a sure discipline.  It is marked by a deliberate thought process independent of the culture and, when from God, it penetrates the whole person and nurtures identity.  This can only happen with dependence on God and can provide guidance to a life of integrity and give a reputation to a world badly in need of its understandings.  (Prov 2:2; 2:10; 3:5; 4:23; 16:21) Those who hold their own “wisdom” and use it to isolate themselves or divide others are not mature.

·  Mentoring relationships of those who partner and follow an elder can only be accomplished by one of a practiced maturity of the previous traits. Gifted leadership needs to be developed so God’s people can be thoroughly equipped to minister and lift up others, which leads to people being unified in faith of Jesus Christ and so all can mature and be formed into his likeness, love being the driving force. (Eph. 4:11-16)

Realize that each stage of life must be filled – worked for and relished – and then abandoned for the next.  Be weary of the culture’s tendency to overprize youth and young adulthood, trapping the elders into a false sense of identity when they over-identify or do not match youth’s expectations.  Instead, assert and preserve the dignity, creativity and richness of all phases of life. 

By midlife and beyond, in love and work, the mature find a way to contribute to the community and to integrate generations.  This means impacting the world today by equipping the next generation and leaving a legacy. Whether through financial contributions, through parenting and mentoring, to being a praying grandparent, investing in God’s work takes precedence in such a way that each age can be faced with a sense of fullness which can overcome the grief and loss of many things.

Each decade we live, the ultimate spiritual discipline might be the effort to keep God at the center of the practice of life.

An Uninvited Discipline - Forgiveness

I so appreciate Christ’s effort on the cross which makes forgiveness available to me.  All I have to do is accept it, ask for it and it is mine!  Once I have repented of my sin and received forgiveness, could there be a discipline which attends it?  Is there a practice which can bring me into greater proximity to God through forgiveness, the very thing He has given freely?  Surely!  I call it accepting the full force of forgiveness and that its power can ripple in areas within myself and any person who needs it.

I have seen some not get the full force of forgiveness when they have blocked its healing power.  In Matthew 18, Jesus gives several lessons on forgiveness, and most pointedly in verse 35, he ends the series of lessons by saying, “Unless you forgive from your heart…”  You are to forgive from the place of hurt and anger, the place you feel it the most.  Forgiveness is not just a good idea, it is a balm to a hurting heart.  The full force of forgiveness is to provide healing and freedom from the sin against you.  It is surely a discipline to allow forgiveness that far reach into the center of who you are. 

We may want to forgive in theory, but not practice.  I heard this in statements such as, “I forgive her but…” or “I have tried to forgive” or “I have forgiven him in my mind.”  People say this because they have only applied forgiveness as an idea.  It may be a good idea, but just an idea.  Not a practice. 

Failing to get healed from an offense is proof that forgiveness has not been “from the heart.”  Depending on the scale of the offense, seeking healing may be a severe discipline.  I may need therapy.  I may need deep community prayer and support.  I may need to own any complicity in the sin (i.e. vengefulness, bitterness, despair) and repent so that the full force of forgiveness can enter my heart for someone else. To forgive as such is to be able to remember without hurting.

Another area where people often need the full force of forgiveness is in forgiving themselves.  I have heard people say it is harder to forgive themselves than anyone else.  As with any other person, forgiving oneself involves the same discipline.  If this is you, I challenge you to think and say out loud the following:

            I need to repent of _________, which has harmed me greatly.

• This means I know I have wronged myself and the good work God wants to do in me.
• I am committed to changing that behavior to keep God’s goals and power at the center of that change. 
•  I am committed to making reconciliation with myself, to prove that I can be trusted.

Don’t hold back the power of God from any person, even yourself.  If we forgive like God forgives, it is surely a discipline.  God went to extreme measures to make forgiveness available.  He intends it to be a force in our lives, especially when we learn how to direct it towards all who need it.  

To become ready to forgive may be the greatest part of this discipline and with God at the center, forgiveness is no longer a trite assent to a good idea.  Instead, the force of forgiveness reverberates through our lives and rebuilds them, which can provide a testimony as to God’s power in and through forgiveness.  What a discipline!

Philippians 2:13

For God is working in you,
giving you the desire to obey Him 
and the power to do as He pleases.  Phil 2:13

How much are you working against Him?

An Uninvited Discipline - Repentance

This seems the right moment to considered the layered meaning of discipline.  It is a practice of something in which one is not proficient:  gathering skills and experiences to improve in an application.  Its root word – disciple - infers it includes following someone else’s example.  So, in spiritual discipline, we engage a practice where Jesus is the discipler; He is at the center.  We do it for Him.  We let the practice drive us to Him.  We will soon see that repentance becomes the epitome of spiritual discipline. 

Without God, there is no need for it.   Without God, not only is there no need, there is no one to whom to confess or admit anything.  Without God, ethical standards are situational, with each person determining (and avoiding) any sense of wrongness. This can be seen in the oft-repeated phrase, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”  A subtle, “Sorry about your luck.” At the core, repentance is admitting we are wrong.  In this, we are not proficient.  Many only have sorrow over their actions when there is a negative consequence.  Sorry they got caught.  Sorry there were consequences.  Maybe even sorry someone else was offended, but that is not the sorrow that leads to repentance, at the heart of which is confession and change.  The mark of true “sorriness” (sorrow/grief) is marked by change (true repentance). As long as ego is at the center, little change is possible. 

As it is, I [Paul] rejoice not because you were grieved but because you were grieved into repentance…For godly sorrow produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, but worldly sorrow produces death.  

2 Corinthians 7:7-11

In the translation, The Voice, it is said of godly sorrow:  …because you were moved to make a permanent change that can happen only with the realization that your actions have gone against God.

When we wrong someone else, we have sinned against one of God’s and, like any Father, He is just as offended.  This applies when we have wronged ourselves with sinful choices which prove to be attack against our own humanity.  Even when someone else wrongs us, we reliably sin in response.  We may not be the original offender, and whether we attack back or ignore the offense, if we do not forgive, we have sinned.  If we choose resentment and bitterness, detachment and separation, or stay wounded, it is evidence of our lack of God and His healing efforts. We are at the center, licking our wounds, petting our passions and massaging our egos, but with God at the center, He exercises our passions towards Him, feeding us with love, filling us with compassion, and healing our injuries.  

It is a discipline to train for the right response to sin, no matter its source.  If I keep God at the center of mending an offense - a sin - the purpose and practice change.  I will be grieved because of how God sees it.  I repent in light of God’s provision to do so and because of His desire for unity among His children and because he desires holiness within me.  This is because He wants to remain at the center of me and us.

There are godly indicators in wanting to forgive others and myself.  It is okay to do it out of obedience, gratitude for my own forgiveness, maybe even to avoid the wrath of God and the consequences He may bring, but what if I had a sorrow over offending God, the lover of my soul, and the Father, who holds me dear?  He wants more for me than I want for myself and He knows that sin keeps me from Him and His best.  The discipline of true repentance provides an exercise which strengthens my relationship with the Father and carries me through the pain of offenses offered by a sinful world.

An Uninvited Discipline - Discernment

Most of us who are serious about our relationship with God are trying to figure out what He wants from us.  We want our decisions resting on His directives.  We want our lives led by Him.  We want to draw near to His presence.  So, we read the Bible, listen to sermons, go to seminars and cry out for answers, rarely sure if what we “hear” is from God or some contrivance of our own heart.  We want to be able to know God’s voice, to discern its meaning for our lives.

How about a quick text, Lord?  Or at least a call?

We may be hungry for answers and leading from God but are we listening?  What if God has been speaking all along?  How will we be able to “know” his voice from other strange voices?  How will I even distinguish Jesus’ voice from my own?

In John 10, Jesus talks about his “sheep” hearing his voice.  It is a metaphor with big implications.  He is speaking.  The “hear” is to give attention to, understand, or give ear to the teacher.  Do we?  Just like when I have said to my children, “Do you hear me?” by implication, I mean did they pay attention, understand it and ultimately do it.  I usually ask it because I am not getting the desired response. 

Are we like that?  We really have had God’s words spoken to us and yet He gets no response.  How many times has someone said about God’s written word, “I know but…” Or what I heard in class recently, “It’s so hard.” 

At first I want to ask, “What do you desire most to hear from God?” but I must remember the end of John 10:27:  “My sheep hear my voice and I know them.”  It is an intimacy marker – “I know them intimately,” “I know what they need.”  This causes me to reframe the question: “Do you trust God to give you what you need and are you listening for that?” Do you desire what God desires for you?  Can you hear and trust any direction or answer He may give?  This is what makes discernment an uninvited discipline.  We wanted our answers our way.  That is what we are listening for. 

It is then a spiritual discipline to call discernment “obedient” listening.  Samuel’s famous line, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening,” was only made when he mistook the voice of God for someone else and, thankfully, that someone else was his mentor, who knew to direct him back to God.  To do the same, be deliberate in your listening.  A deep and deliberate reflection of the times God has “spoken” to you in the past – through His written Word, a sermon or teaching, through godly counsel or prayer – can reveal the pattern by which God has operated in your life.  If you stay familiar with this pattern, then other voices are easily distinguished from God’s.  I have often recommended a journaling exercise of significant God-voiced and God-led events in a person’s life.  To see the pattern is revealing and can prove to be a signpost for when God is speaking next.

These answers and experiences with God should include not just obvious directives, comfort and guidance but answers that include NO, which I often take to mean “better than this.”  Many a person knows, in retrospect, the value of not getting something they thought they once wanted. 

It is also important to note times of silence from God.  Waiting in silence has great purpose in giving us a chance to grow strong and to be willing for God’s answer.  Silence can draw us in and causes us to grapple with the truth God has spoken and then to enact obedience,  to step into and follow His leading.  It also behooves us in such reflections of our history with God to note how we have responded to God when He has spoken.  Have we obeyed?  Have we desired to gain the full benefit of responding to His directives and insight?  Do we trust God enough to listen for what He desires for us?

At the core of the spiritual discipline of discernment is the desire to be near to God. It is the “knowing,” in its intimacy-building intent, that should drive our listening.  The sheep who hear his voice then follow into the field.  Those who are attracted to his voice follow closely, not running ahead or lagging behind, going no further than grace allows and keeping Jesus Christ, that familiar shepherd, at the center of life.

An Uninvited Discipline - Relationships

There is a myriad of books, Christian and otherwise, about developing healthy relationships.  My intention is not to discuss any of the “how,” which has been done from many perspectives, but rather why those pursuits are significant to our relationship with God.  Whether it is an endearing, sweet relationship (think:  grandchildren or BFF), or a difficult relationship (name your own here), that relationship can cause you to move closer to God or farther from God because it is practice ground for our relationship with Him. 

God wants us to “relate” to Him.  We can see that clearly in His relationships described in the Bible.  He walked and talked in the garden with Adam and Eve.  The Ten Commandments are relationship guides that teach us how to relate to God and each other.  There are so many relationship descriptors in the New Testament about us:  child, bride, friend and others.  Paul uses the most common of household metaphors of the goal of our relationship with Christ: “Father, out of your glorious riches, strengthen your people.  Fill their souls with the power of your Spirit so that through faith Jesus will become more at home in their hearts.  May love be the rich soil where their lives take root...so that they can know the love of Christ that is infinitely long, wide, high and deep, and may your fullness flood through their entire beings.” (The Voice -Ephesians 3:17-19)

What a loss for a human to not feel grounded, welcomed, settled and at peace in a place on earth!  What a gain to have a home!  Having a home where we are tended to and to which we tend gives a picture for us to stay and play, care and share with God.  I wonder how many people who never had a “home” cannot settle in with God the same way?

Jesus lived his life, ministry and death in the company of a network of personal relationships.  Some were not comfortable, as with the Jewish leaders.  His relationship with the disciples was problematic.  Some were daring, as with women, lepers and zealots.  He met people in gardens, houses, on walks by the sea, and in the synagogue.  He met them in enemy territory (Samaria).  He had friction within his family.  He was frequently eating with people.  He was not an isolated religious figure sitting inside a temple or on a hill.  He was immersed in relationship.

In all these, Jesus did not forget his Father in Heaven nor his purpose on earth, despite the challenge within these relationships.  I propose that if I keep God at the center of my relationships, instead of myself, I will be challenged in different ways than I intended.  It will be a spiritual discipline which will make me more like Jesus.

The first example that comes to mind is in marriage, but you can apply parenting or work relationships.  When my husband and I have a disagreement or a decision to make, do we make it based on what we want (which can be in opposition to each other) or do we make the remedy or solution revolve around what God wants of our marriage?  It is a discipline to move the center of all such discussions around God and His priorities for us, individually and corporately.  What impact does it hold to make decisions that bring us closer to God and not just to get relief or do what is easiest?  What impact does the witness have to solve problems that demonstrate our trust of God in any dilemma or decision?

This thought process also includes any relationship I may have with an enemy.  Jesus had the most powerful things to say about this kind of relationship.  In Luke and Matthew, he challenges the people of his day and us with these relationship guides when it comes to an enemy: (Matthew 5)

•      You have heard it said, “Do not murder,” but anyone who is angry (enough to murder) his brother with be judged by his anger.

• ·       In fact, anyone who calls another person names, “fool” being the highlight, may find himself with a day in court or in the fires of hell.
• ·       Don’t offer your gifts to God at the altar if your brother has something against you.  Make it right with him first.
• ·       If someone sues you, make right the offense.

And then he pushes all the harder (Luke 6):

• ·       Love your enemies.
• ·       Pray for those who persecute you.
• ·       Bless those who curse you.
• ·       Be good to them.
• ·       Lend to them, expecting no return.
•       Expect no compensation for their demands or thievery.

Ouch!  That is not what today’s relationship books say.  This set of directives does not make sense in Jewish law nor to our sense of justice.  Jesus explains,  “I have come not to do away with the law, but to fulfill it.” (Matt 5:17)  He becomes the consummation of the purpose of the law.  He has come to fill it with his presence, to show its deepest meaning, to have its strongest impact.  It’s what we might call “the spirit of the law,” but much more because Jesus is now the ultimate goal. Jesus becomes enough for us. In dealing with our enemies, we are not to serve our own purposes nor do good to our enemies for their sake, but for the sake of Jesus.  Basic law only serves to point to our deeper need for Him and His deeper truth.

That is what makes relationship a spiritual discipline we did not invite, but it is what we need - full relationship with Christ.  It is daunting and not what I want to do.  I may want to work on certain relationships because it makes life easier (me at the center).  I want to appear at peace with my enemies (me at the center), but keep them at arm’s length so as not to enter any more difficulty than I have to, (me at the center).  But with God at the center, the severest discipline begins.  The discipline is defined differently, enacted differently and drives me into total dependence on and obedience to God...

Which is what He wanted all along.

An Uninvited Discipline - Comfort

On the heels of the discipline of Suffering, it seems only logical to move to its opposite:  Comfort.  Whether we consider the overt and tangible places of security and stability, such as good health, relationship harmony and reconciliation, financial security or any position secured, or if we consider deep and abiding strengths, such as strong faith, victory over oppression, any overcoming of strongholds or evil, a discipline comes to keep God at the center of it rather than our own ego.  To fail to keep God at the center is to distort the comfort or miss the fullness of its blessing.

What is comfort’s purpose in our lives?  Why are some allowed a lighter load, a greater skill or a greater advantage?  When a position is gained or strength is received, some cannot rest in comfort or are baffled on what to do with it, even to the point that they cannot be comfortable with the comfort. Some people idolize certain kinds of comfort (such as financial gain) and think it the ultimate goal in life instead of a tool to be used for God.  It is faith development to operate from a position of strength and use it for good and not for evil, to use it for God and not for self.

Some people fear success and strength because inherently they know each come with responsibility.  We often settle for less in our faith development for this very reason, seen in the most insidious of ways.  We reduce the possibilities because we only engage in sin avoidance and do not look for the greater good in the possibility of maturity and purity.  While it is true that we have our weaknesses and failures, we fail to have vision for the possibilities and the process for trusting and depending on God to move from weakness to strength, from failure to success.  And while I don’t want to be a tyrant over the process and demand more from myself than God does (when perfectionism holds no grace), we often don’t give credit to the possibilities in us.

Here are the self-defeating things I hear people say: 

            “We will always be sinners.”  (You mean the Cross wasn’t effective or that I cannot mature into Christ-likeness ever?)

            “We can never be like Christ.” (This negates Bible verses which say some powerful things like, “You have the mind of Christ.”)

            “One step forward and two steps back.” (As if failure must accompany success).

            “All we can do is pray.” (As if prayer is the least and last of power that we hold instead of the first and best of our actions.”

Part of the discipline of comfort is to develop gratitude to God for the opportunity to be in a strong or favorable position.  In a fast-paced, busy world, people often do not stop long enough to reflect on the victory or opportunity to appreciate what God has done in them and through them.   “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8) Small bites.  Slow chewing.  Don’t wolf down the blessings and opportunities so that you don’t experience them fully nor get the chance to look for God in them. 

As a teacher, I have seen students grasp concepts and incorporate them into right living in ways that are fulfilling, victorious and even miraculous.  To sit and relish the opportunity to do so and value the change they work to manifest is a delight.  And to give credit where credit is due to God for the deep work done by His Holy Spirit is to see the Kingdom alive and at work, and is, by definition, the basis of worship.  That kind of focused gratitude is a discipline because I might blow right through the experience or tend to turn that reflective awe on myself and put myself at the center of that success instead of God.

It is also discipline to catch God’s vision for us to have success in certain areas and want to be ready, to be strong when the task comes along.  To position myself to be strong and ready to be well-spent for the opportunities God gives is a discipline.  Many a life is vacant and wandering because it is not purposed and purposeful. When I prepare, develop a vision, seek mentors and teachers, accept critique, and be teachable, I am moving God’s gifts in  me to a place of maturity and usefulness.  Here’s my metaphor:  Learning to skateboard (or snow ski or water ski or surf) requires core strength training.  Falling down repeatedly does not  make one strong enough to stay upright.  It is a discipline to develop an inner strength needed for success.  It is a discipline to rest in and draw from a position of comfort.

Then, when we are strengthened and in right position, it is a discipline to look for the right application of that strength.  A way to test such application comes from Jesus himself: “I look to where the Father is working and I work, too.” (John 5:17) It is a discipline to keep God’s activity as the vehicle for the use of my strengths specifically in a way that causes others to be brought closer to God and into His Kingdom and not to respond to my own emotions or contrivances.  To keep God at the center of the purpose for my strengths and resultant comfort and assuredness is to bring a success that glorifies Him and not me.

Part of comfort’s discipline is to let it be a deliberate platform for the next deeper (and maybe severe) challenge.  God uses people of strength, generosity and wisdom for His advancing Kingdom, which will often have resistance, backlash, even battle.  This includes the battles for the hearts and minds of others.  The position of comfort is supposed to be a comfort for others. (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)  You can give nothing of which you do not have yourself.  Be a strength-builder and comfort-giver in others; find people into whom you can speak strength into vocational skills, people skills, spiritual wisdom, comfort and nourishment.

Do you want to see a better world?  Do you want your family to grow in faith and practice?  Do you want more unity in community?  What you want in others must begin in you and for strength to grow and grow into success, God must be at the center for it to be a comfort.  He impacts the definition of comfort and can do that as much in our places of weakness as in our places of giftedness, in our places of failure as well as success.

It is a discipline to keep God at the center of the change I need to develop greater readiness, wisdom, full purity and greater maturity which may move me towards a humble perfection, the comfort that finally allows me to be at peace.

An Uninvited Discipline - Suffering

Suffering is surely an uninvited discipline, like no other.  We see suffering as a torment from hell, to be cursed or avoided, rather than an opportunity or a teacher.  This happens most when we put ourselves at the center of suffering, instead of God.

We protest suffering for two reasons.  The first is that we have been led to believe or have convinced ourselves that getting close to God is a guarantee of affluence, comfort or control.  We are frequently on the lookout for proof to our right for “blessing” or “good” and in the process, we mislabel comfort for blessing and ease for good.

Secondly, through advancement in medicine and technology, much of modern human suffering has been minimized.  In American/western culture, we have access to many quick escapes from suffering.  We do not have to stay thirsty or hungry for long.  Most illnesses are quickly mitigated with medicine.  We often don’t even have to walk any further than from our house to our car.  And we look upon the hungry, thirsty, the sick and those taking the bus as if they are missing the blessings of God.

As a result, we are far removed – and thankfully so – from much suffering, but when it comes, often our hope wanes, our faith falters.

What is your tendency when suffering comes?

I am going to suggest that when we suffer – if we allow it – that we would see suffering as a discipline.  This can happen when we keep God at the center of the discipline, which involves a diligent search for what is good and for where God is in the suffering.

Suffering is often the opportunity for an engaging exposure of false idols, false ideas about God and ourselves.  It first can reveal our predilection to be immovable, to resist change.  We would often rather be ruined than make any change.  When we are comfortable – settled in and unchallenged – we often have nothing to compel us forward.  We stagnate.  We even fail to seek God.

Suffering also exposes what is bad or painful in our lives – those things we often try to ignore, or try to bury, avoid, or lie to ourselves about.  Those painful things often cause us to reliably sin to get something better.  That sin can lead us to false dependencies (idols) which are blatantly bad for us – alcohol, bad relationships – or subtle, culture-rewarded behaviors – TV, food, status-building, work addiction.  No matter which, we often mistake lesser longings for greater ones, settling for popularity over influence, or material gain over belonging, or individualism over community.  Or anything over God.  We will often sacrifice the righteous to the good, missing God altogether.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops perseverance and perseverance develops our character and our dependence upon hope. Romans 5:3-5

The Greek work for suffering (“problems and trials” in this version) means “pressure.”  It metaphorically is being “hemmed in,” a narrow place, as if there are no other options (but God).  Thus, our idioms of “dire straits” or “between a rock and a hard place.”  Suffering is good when it applies pressure on us to finally come to God, where our only hope lies.  We would like to think that comfort, affluence or wellness would give us hope, but each will fail.  Illness still comes; bad weather still comes; failure and loss still exist. Only the hope from God sustains because He does not fail; his presence remains when all else collapses or abandons us.

So, how do we engage the discipline in suffering?  How do I keep God at the center and persevere?  How do I build hope, that which I need most of all?

Let God comfort you.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our trouble so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. In fact, when you are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation!  2 Corinthians 1:3-6a

When I have been hemmed in by suffering, I have asked God for many things – answers, change, relief, direction…even His will.  But God wants to offer himself as the greatest comforter.  He wants to be with us even then.  Be still and let his Holy Spirit enter and speak to you, to hold you in the darkness of fear and anxiety.  Some things many never change.  A loved one dies.  A lost opportunity may never return.  One decision may impact an entire life.  Let Jesus be enough for you.  Learn to engage him in the deep recesses of the human existence.

Let God’s community absorb your grief.

Share each other’s burdens and in this way, obey the law of Christ.  Galatians 1:2

Along with the end of 2 Corinthians 1:6, we can see that the community is supposed to be there for each other.  This is a fallen world and terrible things happen.  Entering into the suffering of others allows you to be a conduit of God’s love and compassion.  The parallel meaning of “share each other’s burdens” is to let others share your burden.  Receiving other’s compassion is a discipline, too.  Isolation is inherently non-biblical.

See suffering as a chance for God to grow you.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So, let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be mature and complete, needing nothing.  James 1:2-4

It is a spiritual maturity to look into the eyes of suffering and look for an opportunity – for joy, to prove your faithfulness, to grow steady.  The “test” of your faith is a “proof” word – to demonstrate your faith – your trust for and your trust of God.  To whom do you need to prove it?  Not God.  He already knows.  Often, we need the proof ourselves.  Leaning into God, trusting His Word has often brought a subtle amazement to me.  People have asked me, “How did you get through that?”  I knew it was God.  It may not have been easy.  It wasn’t fun (i.e. comfortable), but, with God, I endured.

We are more than our problems.  I see no reason to retain labels such as “victim” or “survivor” or “I am in recovery.”  Many people keep these labels their entire lives.  The apostle Paul says you are more than that, more than a conqueror because of the love of Christ.

In all these things (trouble, calamity, persecution, hunger, danger, even death) we are more than conquerors through Christ, who loved us.  Romans 8:37

Don’t reduce your prayers to only circle around your problems.  God is more than your problem-solver.  Instead, when you suffer, seek greater things than solutions.  Suffering may be that place you learn wisdom, true self-knowledge, Christ-likeness, perseverance, your faith, God’s presence and gain the thing that gives life triumph through any battle – hope.