Friday, April 22, 2005
Monday, April 18, 2005
I quit the day.
It had already been inconsolably long,
though it be only 11:00 in the morning.
I quit trying.
I quit hiding.
I quit wanting.
I gave into the endlessness of trauma, loss and pain.
They could not be avoided any more.
It took too much effort
and I didn’t have the energy anymore.
So, I gave into the abyss, the darkness, the smothering.
I let it go over me, convinced I would die.
At a critical point, I did.
I tried to die.
I let death have me.
But somehow I emerged on the other side, still alive.
There was still trauma, pain and loss
but they no longer had me
they no longer covered life.
They just became another part of the day
like hunger or tiredness, which could be satisfied by food or sleep.
I found that all three—trauma, pain and loss—
could be satisfied by prayer, by rest and by the comfort of others:
wordless comfort, distraction, nurture and more prayer,
satisfying that which once terrorized.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Gravity is more than the force which keeps my feet on the ground. The gravity of life often draws my attention to the somberness of the trouble and struggle of the day, leaving me enmeshed and mired. Gravity keeps me bent low and my coutenance dragging just below the fresh air God offers.
On the other hand, it is a heart of gratitude that draws me towards heaven. No travail can hold me, no complexity in life can deter my aim to stay heaven bound. I believe the "secret" (an open secret if we look for it) of successful Christian living is developing a grateful heart where being content in all things (Philippians 4:10-13) and counting it all joy when trials come my way (2 Corinthans 8:1, 2; James 1:2-5) are the rules of the day. The apostle Paul calls it "throwing off all encumbrances."
The Psalmists often declare in their distress their thankfulness for what God is about to do, depending on His Truth and not the calamity in front of them. Both tell me to free myself of gravity. Gratefulness lifts the burden and raises my vision towards God as I know He is able to do and deliver all things. Gratefulness causes me to seek my Creator and Redeemer to thank Him for pushing me towards the positive.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
So, welcome to that process. If you feel called to reflect on these musings, poetry and challenges, please do so. I will consider them all and might even use them in my teaching, always remembering to balance all my thinking with the Word of God.