We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9
All of us have wanted to change something in our lives. We make plans; we get information and tools
and learn what must be done. If we are
smart, we engage community support in the area of change we need. I propose, though, that we miss the most
important element in the process, which can sideline us if we don’t attend to
it. We miss being ready for and ready to
accommodate the emotions of a change process.
How do
you feel about the problem?
How do
you feel about feeling that way?
How do
you feel about problem-solving through this particular problem?
How do
you feel about feeling that way?
How might
you feel about achieving success?
How do
you feel about feeling that way?
This is why we often fail:
we don’t honor those feelings let alone navigate them, which leads to
failure as we abandon the process because we are so uncomfortable with the
feelings that attend change.
I know all have done it because I know that people know
what to do … but do not do it. You have seen it; you have done it;
What happens is that
we are faced with new information that doesn’t fit our scheme at all! The superficial facts and acts seem obvious
enough, but the emotional construct needed to make change feels daunting. We don’t know how to let our stomach hurt. Part of the solution is to learn to stay
uncomfortable when we are solutioning.
In faith practices, discovery and growth is sometimes called “liminal” spaces, the
spaces of waiting for change. Traditionally,
the liminal space is the space of transformation. It’s a waiting area filled with anticipation,
disorientation, uncomfortableness, maybe even fright.
The extreme example is the Saturday after “good”
Friday. Jesus is dead and the disciples
have no idea what is happening. They don’t
know that Sunday is coming, and they are in a terrifying space of reorientation…and
towards what future, they don’t know. I
can only imagine what that 48 hours was like, but I imagine the room was
flooded with dark emotions of grief, fear, despair. I imagine the sobbing and wailing. I imagine the ferocious need to save
themselves, yet their future seeming to be in complete disarray.
Their lives had to go on, but how? How does one solution in the midst of
pain? Could it be possible that those dark
emotions could be teachers or guides?
Could the primal howl of existential suffering actually be healing or
transformative? Have you ever screamed
out of sheer frustration of fear? What
if that was healing?
The disciples had to face in a larger sense than when we
are in a liminal space how to navigate not just next steps, but new identity
and purpose. All they held true had
collapsed (although we know Jesus would reorient that collapse). What if, in less terrorizing moments
comparatively, that is true for us as we make change? What will we become? Can we let Jesus reorient our path (determine
our steps)? What will that liminal space teach us?
Squint ahead and see that God has determined our steps. He knows the way.
