Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Sons & Daughters

I have lately been overwhelmed at my role as mother.

I became a grandmother recently and suddenly my mothering role changes. I am now called to mother my daughter differently and I have an additional son in my son-in-law. While this is all good, it changes me. It's weird how I can't stop calling my grandson "our baby." My husband and I call him "our baby." If there is a crisis in his young life, I call my daughter and ask about "our baby." Now I know he is not the baby of my womb, yet I have encompassed him as if he is. I don't consider myself all that co-dependent, yet I can't seem to force this language out of my lexicon.

This last week, my adult son entered drug-treatment at a Rescue Mission and I find myself in another change in my role as mother. While I have known about his use/problem with alcohol and drugs for some time, I find myself in an unusual role. I am not even sure why it feels so strange and so compelling. When he was a teenager, I facilitated an early intervention for him. Since then I have practiced good "tough love" practices, but now that he is voluntarily getting treatment for the first time in ten years, I have feelings of protection like I have never felt before. If only I could ensure his success.

When I have a crisis or event of parenting, I think of our heavenly Father and how he must feel about us. I wonder if he wants to guarantee our successes and must live with our falling short. I wonder if he thinks of any of us as "his baby" as he entrusts our presentation on earth to lesser beings. He has the benefit of foreknowledge: maybe that helps.

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